Blk XXX Jurong West Street XX
#XX-XXX S (XXXXXX)
9XXXXXXX
tanlcs@hotmail.com
1st September 2010
JEI Learning Centre Pte Ltd
1 Marine Parade Central
#13-04 Park Way Centre
S(449408)
#XX-XXX S (XXXXXX)
9XXXXXXX
tanlcs@hotmail.com
1st September 2010
JEI Learning Centre Pte Ltd
1 Marine Parade Central
#13-04 Park Way Centre
S(449408)
Dear Sir/Madam,
Application of Job as an Instructor at JEI Learning Centre Pte Ltd
I am interested in the Instructor position with your company. Enclosed is my resume and supporting documents. Please review the attached resume, which highlights the skills and accomplishments that will enable me to contribute to contribute to your team. I had experience teaching as a private tutor and also as a relief teacher, hence I am confident in my passion and ability to become a positive addition to your team as an instructor.
Currently, I am an undergraduate in National University of Singapore (NUS). I will be receiving my Bachelor’s degree in Physics in year 2013. Being a young and vibrant addition to your team, I am confident that I can enthuse your students to work towards maximizing their individual potentials, not only to improve their academic achievements but also build confidence in themselves.
During my term as a relief teacher at Jurong Primary School, I had demonstrated great independence and also volunteerism, hence I was given the opportunity to take on the challenging role as a form teacher for a semester. This has given me the chance to practice effective classroom management, a skill which I can apply as an instructor in your company. I strongly believe that my six months stint as a relief teacher has given me adequate and relevant experience in the teaching field.
Many teachers lack one important skill – patience. This skill is something which I had picked up as a part-time music instructor at Kheng Cheng School, having to cater to the needs of different classes in the Primary Two cohort. Such a skill will, undoubtedly, be valuable when interacting with the diverse group of students in your learning centre.
My job as a sales executive with Tai Sing Corporation Pte Ltd had allowed me to meet people from all woks of life. This certainly has trained me to be able to communicate with people effectively. To become a good team player, good communication skills are vital. Effective communication techniques will also allow me to foster good relationships with the parents, keeping them aware of the progress of their children.
Being an aspiring educator, I welcome the opportunity to meet with you to discuss how my enthusiasm towards teaching and learning will greatly benefit your teaching team. Thank you for your time and consideration.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours truly,
Stanley
(Edited)
(Edited)
Hi people,
ReplyDeleteGive me some comments on how I can further make my cover letter more appealing.
Thanks! =)
Hi Stanley,
ReplyDeleteComparing with the one we helped you edited before, this one is better and more task-oriented,below are some of my suggstions you may consider.
1. I think maybe you could move your first paragraph to the last part, as it sounds more like a conclusion, but you could same the first few sentences as the first part.
2. Probably you could remove the "Re" from your title as this would sounds more professional.
3. About the part of you being a sale excutive and the teacher one, they both sound very impressive, if you could keep them a bit shorter, it could be better.
That is all I would like to say, hope you have a great Sunday~
Yitong
Hey Yitong,
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting. I have removed the "Re" from my post. Hope it really does give a more professional finish. =)
For the description of my past experience, I elaborated more based on the feedback that I received during class on Thursday. They commented on the first draft that the content was drafted to the emphasis of the employer. I added a little more details to remedy the letter.
Guys, what do you think? Should I reduce the experience I share? Any suggestion of what I should remove? Thanks in advance!
Lastly on the part of shifting the content of the first paragraph to the last. What do you guys think? Would you want to continue reading after reading my first paragraph?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey Stanley!
ReplyDeleteThis tone of your application letter is very courteous, which I really appreciated. I think you don't have to reduce the experiences you shared, since they are relevant to the job position and makes the application concrete.
I kind of understand what Yitong said about shifting the content of the first paragraph to the last, though. You do not have to shift the entire paragraph but this part <> is a bit repetitive because mentioned your resume twice in a row.
<<...maximizing their individual potentials, not only to improve their academic achievements but also build confidence in themselves.>> You can also use a semicolon instead of a comma after "potentials".
You may also want to break down the first sentence of the third paragraph into 2 sentences or use the semicolon before "hence". :)
I agree, it's courteous and complete in a sense.
ReplyDeleteI have some comments on the last part. Tai Sing corp. That part seems to be a bit vague. More examples on your interaction and skills you learned?
Overall, it seems coherent to me as you describe you experience and ability. Correct and direct.
You will definitely pass as a potential candidate.
Thank you May and Yongxin for your compliment. May, I have edited the punctuations that you have mentioned. Appreciate it. Thanks! However, I feel that the 2 sentences regarding my resume is not really a repeat. The two sentence means two different things:
ReplyDelete1) What is enclosed with this cover letter
2) What you would expect to see in my resume
I feel that it summarizes for the person reading the letter on what to expect which would "interest" the reader.
My blog friends out there, what do you think?
Yongxin, for my part on Tai Sing corp. What do you think I should add in? Well, basically my job was as a sales person and there really isn't anything spectacular that I can think of that would interest the targeted audience. Do you think I should include a certain customer that I have attended to? I am afraid that I would end up with a super long cover letter if I were to add on. Any suggestions? Heehee
Thanks alot!
Hi Stanley,
ReplyDeleteJust some thoughts of the previous uncertainty you had with regards to your previous job experience.
I guess it isn't so much of what you did in the past that employers are looking for in their prospective employees, but more of what skills individual candidates actually have that complements the company's working culture.
Infering from your cover letter, I would think that your high interest level in teaching and vast experience in handling students of a young age would be your selling points to the company that you would like to apply for.
Remember that what you submit is more of an invitation for them to invite you for an interview with them to know you better. One shouldn't show all his "secrets" right at the start.
I would like to take this opportunity to suggest some minor editing to further enhance the effectiveness of your letter:
1. I had experience teaching as a private tutor and also as a relief teacher, hence I am confident in my passion and ability to become a positive addition to your team as an instructor.
(edited: With my experience in teaching as a private tutor and a relief teacher, I firmly believe that my passion and capability would be a positive addition to your team.)
2. I will be receiving my Bachelor’s degree in Physics in year 2013.
(edited: I will be graduating with a Bachelor's degree in Physics in the year 2013.)
Just my 2 cents worth (: